Record who absorbs the change as well as who owns the original task
Suppose pickup belongs to one adult but the school changes the finish time. Another adult may move a work call, arrange transport and update dinner while the named collector still performs the pickup. The calendar will show the collector, not the person whose day was disrupted. For a week, record the trigger, who changed their plans, what they changed, and whether another person could reasonably have shared part of it.
Discuss a pattern rather than one unusual afternoon
Review the pattern together using examples. If one person made three new pickups, choose a change the other can cover next week or transfer a different recurring task. Focus on the work that can move rather than trying to make every single day identical.
Change the next interruption at its source
If one adult receives all school notices, arrange for another authorized adult to receive or check the relevant updates where appropriate. If the same person always negotiates changes because they know the contacts, make the ordinary contact route available to the person who will take over. Try one new arrangement for the next week and compare what actually happened. The useful result is fewer unplanned interruptions for the person who previously carried them, not simply another assigned label.